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Since posting Losing a Child on May 28, I’ve reflected how my life has changed over past eleven years since my son’s passing. I’ve met some people who have shared their survival stories with me. I wanted to post two more passages from my journal hoping this will continue to encourage you along your journey.
I’m a Survivor
I’m a survivor, but not like the song on the radio or the TV show.
I’m a survivor of far more unthinkable terms that only another survivor can understand. Sometimes it doesn’t feel quite like surviving when all I want to do is stay in bed and cry for the loss of my son.
There are days when I see a reflection of my old self, enjoying how life used to be. Then reality sets in and I remember that my life is not who I used to be. Integrating a past life with the new one is hard at times. You don’t quite know where everything fits.
One thing I do know is I have a child in Heaven. I didn’t choose to join that club but what a great feeling to know he’s above. With God’s grace, I will see Trey again. And to do that I Must Be A SURVIVOR!
This passage was trans-formative for me. I went on to write the next passage. This is when I knew I would be ok. That I could live life again! I had found my new normal.
With all things give thanks to the Lord. That’s one of the hardest things to do. Give thanks to a Lord that spared my life but took my young son. But I have another son who is alive and healthy. Thank you, Lord. And I have life. Thank you again. I have family and friends. Thank you for your blessings. I have a job that you allowed me to get and keep. Thank You! The more I go on the more thanks I have for the Lord. Even with the loss of my son. I must give thanks because it was Jesus who comforted me. It was Jesus who picked me up when I didn’t want to go on. And it’s Jesus now calling me to accept Him completely in my life. And all I can say is thank you Lord!
Eleven years later, I can still say thank you Lord. I’ve weathered a storm that I thought I wouldn’t survive. And you can too trust in God that He will provide you with all that you need to survive your loss and grief. Strive to find your new normal and live again.
I also challenge you to really look at your life. List out your blessings, I’m sure they are too numerous to list. Hopefully, your list will inspire you to live and love like never before!